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Hey, Jumbo! Elmo here. I'm bored so I'm starting the definitive gang war. First, I want you to steal a Zaibatsu Z-Type and give Timmy Vermicelli a quickie swimming lesson. Oh man the Z-Type is cool.

Now borrow the most pretty car ever made, the Perennial, and drive over to the Zaibatsu quarter, run over, over and over again that mute psycho dude from Liberty City wandering the streets there, he can't scream!

Go change your stinky underwear please and thank you, put the only clothes that silent human wears on you so you will look less ugly. Find a tank, a Rhino tank, the best tank, go on a trip to the hot city of vices where the groovy Karl is 'spanding its gangster empire with his green friends and fire ze missile is their faces.

After that I want you to drive a Dilettante 'cause this car is very, really very funny to me. Have some fast-paced fun trilling action and do crimes with that machine before meeting that tonic Tony DiPriano. Shove 20 Burger Shot's full Meat Stack menus in his mouth to give him the taste of 'Merica finest cuisine.

At last don't forgetti my order at Pizza Cake. I like spaguetti pizza.